Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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