so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
