I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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