Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
well you can't waste a boner
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
