nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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