Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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