We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
