feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
