I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Alive.
So much puke
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
