god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
