Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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