is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
