I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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