You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
