There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
