we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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