I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
