upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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