At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
