Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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