dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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