She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize