feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
