Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
