Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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