bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
