3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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