There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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