We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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