chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
