I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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