I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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