Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
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I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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