i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.