i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*