you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.