I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
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I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
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I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.