so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.