Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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