nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
