Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
