His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
