Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
