Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
