Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize