last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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