Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
another moral hangover. fuck.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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