That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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