So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize