sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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