Your mouth is God's brothel.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
