I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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