Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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