they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
