I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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