You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
