i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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