is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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