suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
