I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
