Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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