he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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