i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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